Last night I watched a movie. Jon is away, he is making his way home as I write, I was a little bored and looking for something to do. Who me meditate? No, I didn't meditate, I turned to Netflix and looked for a movie to watch instantly. One of the first ones I saw on the list was City of Angels. Now, I must be the only person alive that hasn't seen that movie, I haven't even seen little snippets of it here or there, nothing. However, I love the song in the Arms of the Angels and Uninvited and I knew both of them were in the movie. So, selected that one to watch.
Well, it was cute and a little predictable, but I enjoyed it. Normally I avoid Nicholas Cage movies, I don't think he is a great actor, he makes faces instead of acting. But, he was kind of cute when he was young. Meg Ryan is just too adorable for words. But, they were good together.
Dennis Franz's character was interesting. He is a fallen angel in the film. I'm not sure it was explained why he fell, but he is here and enjoying life. A true hedonist. He never lost his thirst for life after leaving behind his angel status. Although, it is clear that he misses his connection with God in the morning and at sunset.
Where do the people go after they die, they can't become angels, so what happens to them? Are they in some suspended limbo? That wasn't touched on really.
What I found disturbing is that it seems that the point of living is solely to indulge in the pleasure of the senses. We are put here to experience everything. To what purpose?
Now that I am writing this I see a correlation between this post and my last post. In my last post I said the that I cannot grasp after experiences, I need to just experience them and then let them go. Are we here to solely be little tasting, smelling, hearing, touching and seeing machines?
My first thought was that this movie was made during the hedonistic nineties, and everything back then was about the experience. But, I think that perhaps it's true. We are here to be God's sense organs. But, there is more to than just that, we are his hands (and his nose and his eyes and his taste buds). We are the whole ball of wax- We are God.
I know a woman who sees angels, Archangels no less. She is a psychologist, very well respected, successful, educated and all the things society says is good. But, she sees angels too. I went to a workshop or two that she has held. She always talks about "legions of angels," we are surrounded by legions of angels. That was the case in the movie last night, there were a lot of them. If this movie had been made today the angels would have been digitized, so there would have been many more of them on the screen I'm sure. But, I thought of this woman and her legions.
In her worshop she did a meditation to help us to see or feel the angels too. Now, I'm a pretty intuitive person and I can get into to it pretty quickly, but I was amazed at how quickly I felt these angels. She called in the Archangels and she placed one in each corner of the room for protection, she placed one above us and one below us. I have to say, that I felt these angels. They were huge, far bigger than the building we were in. Not only did I feel them, I saw them in a manner of speaking. I can't really say what they looked like, they were just beautiful. During the meditation she called in the legions. The angels filled the space. Not just the space in the room, but all of the space, inside me, around me, above me, below me... everywhere. I experienced them as balls of light, that isn't quite accurate, but it's close.
Years ago I heard about quarks. I think they are called quarks. Quarks are subatomic particles that make up protons and I think electrons. They are everywhere, they travel at phenomenal speeds and they combine to make up protons. Now, I have no idea what any of that means, but when I first heard that quarks were discovered, I felt that we have discovered God. Now, I'm inclined to think that we discovered angels. No, no, I mean neutrinos. Neutrinos travel at the speed of light and can pass through anything. They are all around us and everywhere just like the angels in the movie last night. Legions of neutrinos.
We don't know if any of this is true, are there really angels? I tend to think so. Someone could ask then why is there so much suffering? I don't know the answer to that except to say that from the depths of suffering we learn so much, grace can be felt, growth can happen. But, couldn't we learn the same things from joy? My answer is I have no answers. Only questions.
My counselee had a vision one day in the depths of her despair, she saw a beautiful white wing. It was huge taking up the whole window, which was a huge old window in a library. She knew this wing to be God's grace protecting her. I am sure that this wing has seen her through many dark days, even before she felt its presence. Many times I have told her to relax into this wing; "allow it to support you."
I can't see the legions of angels, but I believe they are there. Quiet now, can you feel them? Relax and feel their soft wings to brush against your skin.