Friday, May 21, 2010

Life Starts Clapping

It seems that all of my posts lately start with, “life has been very busy and I have neglected my blog….” This post is no different. I really have neglected my blog. And I am really busy. And I am really lazy, too!

In addition to those things, all of which are true, I have been feeling like I’m on the verge of something and it’s just beyond my grasp. I don’t have words for what is fermented inside. It’s completely non-verbal, which is a little disconcerting.

I have written about our breath, at least I think I have… I feel that our breath is the connection to all that is. Every creature, human, tree, fish, plant, and yes, rock is breathing… now. All of life is breathing now. It forms one breath. One life. One spirit. One.

I say this every time I lead a meditation. I believe that to be true, our breath is part of one larger breath. We are breathing God. Or is God breathing us? Who is breathing whom here? I don’t know.

There is a Hafiz poem that talks about “all of the creatures grab their instruments and join the song.” We are breathing our instruments creating God’s song.

But, there is more.

What if it is the witnessing that is the most important function of life. I witness you and you witness me. I feel your pain, your sorrow, your joy and you feel mine. And as we feel each others pain, joy and sorrow, God is feeling it too. We are His sense organ.

See I told you it was still non-verbal.

The other day, I rode by and animal that had been run over by a car. My inclination was to look away at the horror of this creature’s pain so clearly etched upon his face. But, instead, I looked at his pain, I took it in, I witnessed it and I felt compassion and sorrow for this animal, I felt his pain, and in that moment I connected to God. God felt the sorrow and the compassion too. Does that make sense?

I must leave this thought for another day when I have more clearly grasped it. However, I know this to be true, beyond anything else that I know to be true; being closed off from life is shutting out God. We need to be vulnerable and open to life to feel God’s presence. Our suit of armor that all of us don to protect ourselves from wounds and barbs of others, is the primary reason we are cut off from God. By the way, wearing this suit of armor, also, cuts us off from joy, love, peace, and happiness too. Living open and vulnerable is scary for sure, but it is the only way to really live.

I was in class last week and it was a day of prayer. The pain that people voiced was incredible. Normally, my judgmental side will kick in and I will slings arrows at people to keep from feeling their pain. I didn’t this time, I let it come. It washed over me, it took me and I sobbed along with everyone else, and it was then that I felt God completely with me; so along with the tears there was an immense joy that welled up in me at the same time and I was overwhelmed by it all. I was fully alive… in that moment.


God lays His glance
Life starts

Creatures grab their instruments
And join the

Whenever love makes itself known
Against another

Jewel in the eye starts



I will all this to marinate a little longer, but I feel so close. It appears to be right in front of me, I can almost reach out and touch it. Please, help me to open more fully to your presence, I want to know you.