I sit alone in my room, I contemplate life, God and me. Where do I fit? How will I know you, Lord? Are you in my granddaughter’s face, or are in the trees as squirrels prance and fling themselves from branch to branch? Who are you? Are you me?

I look for you , Lord. I look everywhere I go. Yesterday, as I climbed the lighthouse tower, I felt you in my breath. My chest was pounding, the cold air poured into my lungs and I was greedy and wanted more. But, I felt you there, Lord. Upon reaching the top, trying to catch my breath, what I saw took my breath away. There before me was miles and miles of ocean, sky and island spread out before me like a picnic blanket and I was invited to the feast. There were gulls soaring below me trying to steal a morsel from the hard working ducks. Snow capped the rocks that hold up the lighthouse tower. I saw you there, God. You were everywhere.

Still I do not know where I fit. I am an observer of you, God. I see you everywhere, but why don’t I see you in me as well. I struggle, I moan, I even whine, but you still allude me. Let me be still enough to hear you whispering in my ear, God, allow me the moment to feel you move through me. Am I as dense as one of the rocks that hold up the tower? I saw you in the rocks and yet you were there. Let me be transparent so that I may see your face.

Amen.