Saturday, May 23, 2009

The God Hole

Emptiness. We fear it. Constantly, we run around and try to fill the empty places; in our homes, in our mind, in our bodies. We smoke to fill it. We drink to fill it. We do drugs to fill it. We shop, work, play endless video games to fill it. Instead of filling this void, we should run to it.

In the emptiness is where God is hiding.

One of my teachers in seminary called it our “God Hole.” I love that. God Hole. It is the way that God communicates with us; it is where we return when we die. It is the space in between our spaces. We all have these empty places, but we fear them. Because we fear the unknown, and in this God hole we know nothing for sure; we are nothing. Can you think of anything that terrifies you more than to be nothing?

In meditation, I try to reach that place all the time, but I loose consciousness before I get there, because if I allow myself to go there, I will see that I am nothing. I am a thought or an idea in the mind of God. I am a manifestation of this thought. Is that what I’m trying to say? I’m not entirely sure, because what I am trying to convey is beyond rational thought and beyond the rational mind.

For many years I have known that if I am struggling with something, like painting, all I need do is to take a nap and the inspiration will come. Come from where? It comes from my God Hole. I have to get out of the way of me, for me to receive this inspiration. My ego, our egos get in the way of our God Hole all the time. Our ego needs to be something, to have autonomy, to make a difference. Our egos enable us to get up in the morning. Without an ego, we would all just sit in bed, if we had a bed. Without an ego we wouldn’t care about anything. Therefore, we need our ego, but, our ego keeps us separate; from each other and from God.

In reality, we can never be separate from God because we are all walking around with this God Hole that keeps us permanently attached to the source of our being. We are never separate from each other either. We are one being. Our God Holes are all connected directly to the Divine. Each of us is playing a part in the name of God.

There seems to be patterns in everything in creation. The veins in a leaf echo the veins in my hands. The cells of my body are like the stars in the universe. Atoms are much like solar systems. Patterns that are successful are repeated and redesigned for different functions. There is a symmetry to the universe, if we understand one pattern then perhaps we might understand more of them. I don’t know, maybe I am just talking through my hat, but it seems to me that if God uses a delivery system like veins in a leaf and then uses a similar delivery system in our bodies, then perhaps there are other delivery system that we might understand.

One pattern that we all share, at least here on earth is the breath. All of life breathes. It is an exchange of air, good air in, bad air out. It’s universal, right? There is a pattern to out breath, much like the waves of the ocean; yet no two waves or breaths are a like. Right now… all of the earth is breath. It is a great wind. The Navajo have a prayer about the breath and the wind. How each has always blown, our ancestor breathed until they died and we have continued their breath. I like that imagery.

We are God. We are the physical manifestation of God. We are connected directly to God through our God Hole. The next time you reach for a bowl of ice cream or spend two hours playing Slingo, ask yourself if you are just filling your God Hole to keep from feeling this void. Next time try to sit with the emptiness and see if you can perceive that small still voice within.

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