Friday, November 13, 2009


The other night I was invited to attend a gathering of women for the auspicious date of 11/11… my birthday, which was just a coincidence. It was held at one of the women’s homes. Now the puja was lovely. We did a silent mediation and offered some prayers; it was simple, but quite moving and lovely.

My problem was not with the intention of the ceremony, nor the people involved, but with the place itself. It was perfect. The space from its inception was planned to be perfect. I am sure that I am being judgmental and perhaps there is a touch of sour grapes in there, but I truly feel that I am being as close to objective as I can be.

It was just too much.

The house is one of those bloated McMansions, built on a golf course. The woman has lived there with her husband for thirteen years and recently remodeled the entire house from top to bottom. She envisioned the living and dining room as a sanctuary and pursued her dreams. I have no problem with any of that, I would love to have a sanctuary too. But, this was just too perfect, filled with objects from all over the world; even the paint was specially created and filled with blessings… I didn’t know that Benjamin Moore specializes in blessed paint.

On the floor that we were on, the main living area of the house, there were four living rooms including the sanctuary space. The kitchen was flawless and the granite counter tops looked like the bed of a flowing stream, just lovely. It was perfect and in there lies the problem… for me.

I don’t understand the necessity of it. Wouldn’t the puja have been as lovely and meaningful in a lesser space? The woman gave us a long description of what she went through to create this space. She was obviously proud of her efforts. It seemed to be a complete exercise in ego, which negated the meaning behind the puja for me.

I am sure that there must be a note of jealousy within me… there must be. However, I honestly don’t feel it and I have searched my soul for it. I wouldn’t want a house like that, for sure. Her things were beautiful and yet, there was nothing there that I coveted. But, I feel that I am being critical because somewhere I would like to have the means to do something like. Right? I must be jealous, because why would it have affected me like this. Or is it that I just see ego?

God wants only to be included in our lives. He doesn’t care that we have five crystal singing bowls or an “Om” singing bowl or a water feature in our living room or a three hundred pound amethyst cut in half that doubles as a candle holder or a Quan Yin with a gold leaf backing hanging on the wall. God just wants to rest in our hearts; wherever they are.

Wherever two or more are gathered in my name….

Was it a beautiful space? You betcha. It was perfect.

The only trouble is that God loves our imperfections. God wants us to have our breath taken away by the grandeur of his creation.

Today the wind is blowing all the remaining leaves from the trees, it is wet and a definite chill in the air. Winter is coming there is no doubt. As I sit here looking out my window at the blowing trees, and feeling the cold in my bones, I know that God is here too. A flock of birds flew by not too long ago. I couldn’t see them from my vantage point, but there must have been ten thousand of them judging by the noise they made. And I knew that God was there too.

I didn’t feel God there the other night; I felt ego and for me, it made the puja pointless

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